Our Family Tree

David and I are Pet Parents. We are two humans in our early 50s who are raising and directing the lives of 6 four legged kids who are not human. I call myself a hu-mom, not their bio-mom, but still I love them just the same. I hold them when they are scared. I kiss their heads and the top of their heads in affection. They know my Mom voice when I am telling them to stop an action that is not going in with the rules of the house or maybe stepping on another’s boundaries.

I do let them work it out most of the time, but when you have a cat named Oski, who doesn’t seem to know when to honor another’s boundary I will step in and use my loud, deep almost growl like voice to warn them. They do listen. As long as I have been with all my 4-legged kids, as I call them, I realize they understand the steady stream of our family energy. It doesn’t matter what species our bodies are in, we just know we are connected. I understand their moods and feelings just by becoming quiet and observing them, and their body movements.

Sometimes I will get communication by the response to my words. Whether they are reading my energy or remember the sounds of the consonants or vowels. For example, when Reggie is out and I ask him if he is a happy bunny, he will look at me then in a split second, he is jumping in air with an ethusiam that says “Yes mommy, I’m happy”. Then I will start doing my own strange form of a bunny dance and he seems pleased-that is the feeling I get from him.

With Oski, the Bart Simpson of the family, he is very head strong. When he wants something, such as a snack, if I am not facing him, he will knock something off the counter- then look at me as if to say “do I have your attention now?” If I say out loud “yes I hear you, what do you want?” He will stop for a brief moment to see if I come into the kitchen.

When I follow him to the kitchen. I will ask him if he wants food. I wait. Then I wait some more. He has a challenge with focus so I have to quiet my energy to help ground him. Eventually he will get off the counter (sometimes I have to give a gentle nudge to remind him) then he jumps off the counter and starts pacing. I will say, “you know what I want you to do, right”? He may pace a little longer, then I will see him sit down quietly and look at me. When he wants to get extra points, he will raise his paw to give a “hi-five” that we taught him.

I will praise him for being such a polite cat and give him a snack. We only feed them a little bit at a time, so the food doesn’t go to waste, so they eat throughout the day. Oski, who seems to have a high metabolism, seems to eat more than the other cats in the house. I am glad to give him a snack. He has come a long way. We taught him to get quiet and polite by using the clicker method. It really helped him to get his focus. Now I can give him a look across the room and he will come to me if I use my fingers. I use my concentration and focus and imagine I have a stream of energy coming from my Solar plexus. If I am totally present with my message, he will come prancing up to me.

The girls in the family-Moon, Fiona and Emma seem to read us pretty well, and they will stop what they are doing right away if they are forgetting the rules of the house. We don’t have to raise our voices. All the cats have their own personalities. Moon is regal, quiet and poised. She has a grace when she moves and I have always thought of her as a ballerina. I am convinced that Moon sees David as her mate and I am her friendly rival. She doesn’t mind my sharing him. And she loves to get on my lap to take a rest. But she does love to talk when she is hungry. She is very verbal. So it isn’t necessary to try to communicate energetically.

Fiona-Her full name is Fiona the Fearless, is a little spitfire and moves very quickly. If she had to go outdoors and hunt for her food, she would be the top mouser in the neighborhood. She has very quick reflexes and when we dole out the treats we have to throw her the treat first because she will move anyone out of the way to make sure she gets her prize. In fact she prefers when I throw out the treat so she can hunt it and pounce on it. There are times when I throw the treat in the air and she will leap into the air and twirl her body to catch it. She also likes to use the slick surface of the linoleum to slide across the floor. If she had the body mechanics and awareness, she would probably love to ice skate or roller blade. I never have the camera close by to catch her graceful athletic moves but it is incredible.

Emma, who I call our wild child, has lived at our home since before we moved in 9 years ago. But this black and white cat caught our attention when we saw her one Saturday morning moving her last litter of kittens to a safe place when someone doing yard work was invading their home. I loved her courage and diligence to her babies getting them to safety. Of course I realize now that she could read us well enough to know we were not going to harm her or her brood. Two ladies in the neighborhood got all the kittens and found them homes. Emma, who we called “black and white kitty” in the beginning, could not be caught to get spayed. Since she was a feral cat, she learned not to trust humans. I can’t say I blamed her. We humans have not had a good track record when being responsible pet owners (but it is changing-the consciousness is growing).

We knew we had to give her time. So we did. I would talk to her and tell her that if she went to the vet and got the operation, she wouldn’t have to have more kittens and she would feel better and calmer. It took us a few months of talking and feeding her, but one morning, she allowed David to pick her up and we got her to the vet. I intuitively knew that if Emma didn’t want to be caught, she wouldn’t. She convalesced then decided to go back to her outdoor home. I couldn’t blame her. This was she home, she knew the best places to hide and stay safe. When it was clement outside and rainy, she seemed to know how to stay dry. David and I knew we had to meet her on her terms.

But that didn’t stop me from talking to her and telling her how much we would like her to come into the house when it was cold and wet outside. I told her it would be her safe place away from the elements. We knew she loved to be outdoors and we would respect that, but when she wanted a warm dry place, she was welcome to come inside. The cats in the home would look out through the door and sometimes I could see them communicating silently. I could feel that she was thinking more and more about our offer. She would come closer to us. With me she would sort of sniff to see what my character was-was I an ok human or not? She seemed more comfortable with David. He was her rescuer after all. He got her to the vet and now she was feeling better because of it.

I think it took two years before she finally said, “ok, I will give it a try. My last pitch I said “You know you can still stay outdoors, we know It is your home, but if you do want to come indoors, I need to give you a name. That is what humans do as a form of affection. I want to call you Emma because I think this name is a combination of femininity and strength. If you like the name, then come into the house to let me know. Two weeks later she did.

She still stays outdoors primarily, but as she has gotten older, she will curl up on the sofa or one of the dining room chairs and take a nap. It still makes me feel warmth that we were able to come to an understanding. She trusts us to the best of the ability being that we are still humans. But I know she likes the food and the different places she can find to take a nap and the other cats respect her-except Oski-our little boundary taker. But Emma can put Oski in his place if he forgets and it is done with firmness, a deep fierce growl and he retreats.

Then we have our two mini-lops, Buster and Reggie. They were both adopted from the humane society, both house broken and we have things to bunny proof the house to save it from their very sharp claws and teeth. They do have similar markings, but their personalities are unique. Reggie is a rabbit with a lot of warrior energy. He doesn’t have time for humans that don’t understand him or get in the way when he has a mission to accomplish. But he also has a sense of fun, like all rabbits and lagomorphs before him. We share a dance of two together when I get home in the evening, but mostly loves to lay and meditate. And when I need him to go back to his cage. I have to ask politely and let him go in at his own place or he will growl at me to show his displeasure. When he knows I have surrendered then he will calm down and within a few minutes he is back in his cage. He understands me somehow. It is still amazing that he is listening. And yes, we speak two different languages and we are two different species.

We move on to the baby of the family-Buster our 1 ½ year old. He is lively, curious and if he was in a rabbit warren, he would be the strategist that would find all the safe places in their territory. He loves me. He will come when I call him and if I kneel down he will come up and sniff me. One time when I was trying to take his photo, he ran up to me and laid down next to me. He was too close for me to take his picture, but this was a much better experience. Bonding with the baby bunny. He isn’t as warrior-energy driven as Reggie. I think that is why they get along so well. Buster is an easygoing little boy. So Reggie doesn’t feel threatened and Buster will always oblige Reggie when he lays down his head for a grooming session. I have read that two boys don’t get along well because of territory instincts, but they seem to do ok. I believe it is their personalities. There is no rivalry.

Yes, I feel proud of the job David and I have done in raising happy, healthy 4-legged kids. Both David and I Feed them, give them shelter, take them to the vet when they get sick and we both give them lots of love. They are inquisitive, independent and a constant source of trust and unconditional acceptance. We are very blessed. We have the opportunity to see their view of the world and as our vision and understanding of who they are grows, this knowledge goes out to the universe and more people and animals get the benefit of our experiences. It may go out as a whisper or a feeling, but as the whisper gets louder and more people answer the call, the world gets healed. Ghandi and St. Francis would be proud.

Our Happy Family--Life With Oski

For the first 5 years of Oski’s life, he might have thought his real name was “Oski-No” because everytime we turned around we had to tell oski to stop what he was doing. NO jumping on the bookcase….leave that cup alone, off that counter now….leave your sister alone…Oski no…Oski no…Oski no!

Oski had a way of looking at the world that didn’t agree with the humans and other beings in the house. Our animal communicator, Cathy says, that Oski looks through the world with rose colored glasses. He thinks its logical to jump on the counter, after all that is where the food is, why can’t he help himself? What difference does it make whether it is in his bowl or not, it will just dirty the bowl and then we will have to wash it? Besides we were going to give it to him anyway, he is really doing us a favor by helping himself.

Sometimes he jumps on the counter so we can really see him more clearly. And if we don’t know he is there, he will knock something off so he makes sure we see him. He knows we will always come running. Sure we may yell at him, but it got the job done. He always tries to make things as efficient as possible.

From Oski’s viewpoint, it is perfectly logical why he does what he does. So our job as his pet parents have been for the past 6 years is to teach him the rules of the house. It has been a rocky, chaotic journey but one that has been rewarding at the same time. We have learned patience, acceptance and developed a broader sense of humor. And Oski has learned to be more patient not as impulsive.

Oski is also a very stubborn young cat who is very smart and like most beings with a high IQ, he gets bored very easily and then will try to direct his energy in what ever is in the way. He really loves to chase things. He loves things that have fast movement and moves a long way. One of his favorite toys are plastic bag twist ties. We renamed them “Twisty-tie toys” for Oski’s benefit. If he starts prowling around the house, I know he is bored and needs something to do. I’ll ask him if he wants to play with his twisty tie toy and he stops what he is doing (even if he is trying to wrestle with one of his sisters) and will stand at attention waiting to see what direction I am going to slide the toy on the floor. Because we have more hardwood floors and linoleum than carpet, when I throw it, I can make it slide quite a distance and it makes a sound he loves, it makes him more motivated to run after it, pounce and capture it.

Sometimes he will pick it up with his claws and bat it around some more or sometimes he will pounce on it and then stop and look at me to say “do it again, Mommy!” so I will pick it up and move it to different rooms in the house. One of his favorite places is throwing it on the bed. He has the added challenge of trying to find it on the bed. Sometimes it goes underneath the covers. On few occasions, he will pick it up and carry it in his mouth and then drop it and play with it on his own.

As Cathy says he is all boy, he is very rambunctious and loud when he jumps off of things. It is as if to say he is here. Being that he was the runt of the litter he had to really make sure every one knew that fact. Sometimes he terrorizes the girls in the house. He can play a little too rough and there are times we have to intervene, but if at all possible we let them work it out. Because Oski is impulsive and a boundary taker, the girls do their best to show their displeasure. Moon, our 6 year old black short hair cat that has the face of an Egyptian goddess, will hiss at him. Sometimes it works, other times he is relentless and then we have to scoop him up and give him a time out in our bedroom, where he will take a nap.

Fiona, the baby of the family, has her own way. She is half the size of Oski. She is a very fluffy cat with a fur collar, very elegant, very dainty. But looks are deceiving. Most of the time, when Oski starts to become too much, she will run after him and with a single look, Oski seems to stop, in some cases she has been known to wrestle with him and throw him over and he stops. For her size, she is a very determined being in her own right. I admire her sense of self, her calm. She has this wide eyed look that seems to have an innocence-a trusting nature.

But even with all his boisterous behavior, there is another side to him. He loves to be cradled like a baby and loves the affection. When I get up in the morning, he will greet me in a certain cadence that says “Hi, mommy, I’m so glad you are up.” Then he will put his front paws up so I will pick him up. He purrs in a soothing, content rhythm and I will carry him around kissing him on the cheek or the head, telling him how wonderful he is. I love this ritual. I am very blessed that Oski and I have such a close relationship. He is a momma’s boy.

Teaching him the rules of the house has been a long, ongoing work in progress. He has been a slow learner. I believe that part of the challenge for Oski is that he seems to be easily distracted, so unless I have his total awareness, getting him to respond to my requests can take a few attempts. The way we got him to respond is teaching him to sit through the method of the clicker and treats. The clicker is a device that makes a very distinct noise, so distinct that most animals, dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, ect., will take notice. This method of training has been very effective for a lot of 4-legged kids.

Once we got his attention, we would say “sit down”. We would put a little pressure on his hind end to give him the idea to sit. Eventually he started sitting. And we would reward him by giving him a treat. Over time, he would sit even if he didn’t get a treat, we would give him a lot of praise. Oski is a pleaser so telling him what a good job he did worked too. Now when he is acting out and I say “Oski, sit down”, once I have his attention, he sits very politely. This has been a eye opening and wondrous journey. We have enjoyed every minute of being with Oski, teaching him the rules of the house and see how much he has grown and matured in the almost 7 years he has shared his life with us. There may have been times, where we felt, he would never get it, other times amazed at the progress he makes. And through all our experiences, it has been so worth it.

Our Happy Family. Part 1-Fiona The Fearless

I have a great multi-species family. It consists of 5 felines, one house rabbit and one human husband. All the Fourlegged kids as I call them are rescues and yet they all co-exist very well. I am not saying that from time to time they don't squabble or may hiss and snarl at each other, but they know when to stop or they listen to me (who I believe they think of me as the "alpha cat"). Even the Cats in the house respect Rex, our 6 year old rabbit. It can be challenging at times but I feel that if you communicate with your Fourleggeds on a regular basis, any challenges can be neutralized or stopped. I titled this blog "The Paw Stops Here" as a take off on the expression--"The Buck Stops Here". We can no longer give into the belief that animals are beings with no consciousness, thoughts or feelings. It is our responsibility and privilege to care and nurture our Fourlegged with love, respect, companionship if we want a close relationship. And you don't abandon a family member because they are not the perfect cookie-cutter image you have of a specific being. You work with them and get outside guidance if necessary. I want to write our experiences of the great relationship my husband, David and I share with our multi-species family. We really love being together and "sharing space" a term I heard (your are correct, telepathically I heard this) from my first Fourlegged kid, Oscar--a beautifully marked brown tabby who had a presence of a old soul. People who didn't like cats loved him.

Because cats do like to have their own territory whether it is inside sitting on their favorite couch or sunbathing in the garden, like our Emma, they want to claim a place that is theirs, a sanctuary for them to be quiet and meditate or dream when they are napping. But if they have a trusted companion they will allow a friend to stay and nap with them in their special place. They may not sit or curl up next to each other, but they will be in the same close vacinity.

First, let me introduce you to the members in our household and then in the days to come, I will share the wonderfully amazing (to me) things that happen in our household every day. I can give you examples of cats, who are supposed to be independent, unresponsive beings who come when we call them. Who show us how they communicate their feelings to us in different ways. How we have gotten them to honor the boundaries in the house and how they honor each other, even a cat who was born outside and even though she prefers to stay outdoors will come into the house and though I have seen her be agressive with other outside cats is a perfect lady with the other 4-leggeds who live in the house, including Rex our bunny.

The Fourleggeds range from 2 to 10 years. Because they are all rescues, We only know of their approximate ages. The Babycat of the family is Fiona (the Fearless) who is two years old. Fiona came to live with us when we found her yowling up a storm underneath our front porch when she was aprox. two months old. She was so tiny, we thought she was a month old, but after a trip to the vet, it was determined that she was twice her age, she was just tiny. I call her Fiona the Fearless, because even though she was so tiny, when my husband David picked her up she didn't have a problem coming right into the house. Fiona is a Fluffy black cat with expressive round citrine colored eyes, small in stature, with a tuft of white fur in her chest area. I believe the white patch is a way of letting us know that one of our elder cats, Cleo who died a day earlier, had led Fiona to our house as a way to help us cope with our grief. Fiona is very dainty and feminine, fluffy with a very bushy tale that almost resembles a quill pen. She is very regal looking. But don't let the "fru-fru" look fool you, she loves to pounce on two of the other cats and she loves to play hunt. When she was younger, she loved using my husbands socks as her prey. She would carry her "prey" in her mouth through the house and then drop it and try to tear it a part with her teeth and claws. She will still occasionally find a lone sock and make the Prey call that she captured and show the other cats what a good hunter she is. Because she is so fast in reflexes and the graceful turns she makes when she is play hunting I believe she would be a good hunter if we let her go outside. She is independent like all cats are, but when ever I need to find out where she is all I have to do is call out "Where is my Fiona the Fearless" and she will saunter out where ever she is in the house. She learns quickly what the rules are and is pretty good at following the boundaries, but when it comes to food, she is quick to be first in line to receive treats and then it is every cat for herself. Although I will say if I need her to sit to get her treat as a way of not stealing the other cats treats, she will sit if I ask her to and keep talking to her to keep her focus. We do have a routine in the morning where she will call me through the bathroom door so I will let her in and then I sit down so she can sit in my lap. She likes me to inspect her ears, tail, her fur and her feet to make sure she is ready to start her day. She also likes it when I kiss the top of her head. I place 3 short kisses at a time. I wait a couple of seconds and then she moves her head back to tell me she wants me to give her some more kisses. It is such a cute ritual, but It makes me feel as if we are sharing some quality Kitty-Mommy time. I feel Fiona, like the other members in the family, really know we love them and respect who they are. They in turn do their best to follow the rules of the house. Next up: Oski the cat who is a cross between Bart Simpson and Dennis the Menace. Until then "keep your eyes on the prize and keep reaching with your paws!